Understanding the Middle Child-Guru Purnima 2008
This Guru Purnima I learned what it feels like to be a middle child. The older sibling is shining so bright. The sweet adorable new baby is precious and needs help. The middle child, well… they help both. The older, they do the running for, while they are busy with their many talents and duties. The younger, who needs to be guided and watched out for, the middle child stands guard.
This year at the program in India, the middle students sat outside while the new students went to the front and the many older students needed to be close to do their seva. The new students received personal time with our teacher and the older students received special boons. The middle students got sent home early to balance the energy at the ashram. It was such a revealing experience about the many people who are in the middle for most of their lives.
When we were the new students, Swami ignored us and we weren’t pampered at all (at least it felt this way as a middle student.) This may have been a result of him seeing how dependent his first students were on his presence. But what actually is available for you of the middle group in this layered world??? You get to search for the deeper meaning of service, selflessness, and self worth. You may have the grace of going down and pulling yourself back up with the help of Baba and your own determination to stay inspired, devoted, and ready to become who you came to become. You get to see the value in the true friends who are willing to look after you and stand by you. You learn to see the gift in the hard knocks from the older students as they teach you the ropes of the real world A-Z. You get to feel what it is like to try to stay ready to help new students who are only fractions behind and often way ahead on the soul level.
It is hard to feel left out, invisible, betrayed. The middle feels more like you are a step that people walk on to get to and from the top to the bottom. So what is wrong with being a stepping stone? Once you see it for the beautiful service it is, you can take it more seriously as a way to help others while you too are pulled along as a part of the group. Without the middle step it would be hard to go up or down. Without the helpful available hardworking middle, not as much could be accomplished. Once again the larger lesson for me on this path is about how I can help, NOT what can I get.
Having grown up as the first child, I was used to the special attention and I learned to define myself by how much pride I could invoke in the family. I saw the frustration in my younger brothers as I was always four and seven years ahead in life. I also saw the love that we shared because I was kind and caring and willing to teach him everything I knew. Now I know what that felt like. I am the middle student in this Student Kingdom. I received the personal time from several of top students and then they moved on to other new students…as it has to be. I struggle in the shadow of the extremely talented teachers who have stepped into the world under Swami’s orders to “hit the globe”. I struggle to learn how to be a good servant of this work and to find my proper unifying place in the layers of Truth and Love.
In the midst of the struggle is the grace of this Divine Lineage pointing to the source of my challenges and the solutions for each. We learned at Guru Purnima that whatever our Divine Mother, creation in all its forms is presenting, Her finger is pointing to the true unchanging, silent dynamic source…Her beloved and our Father. We middle students need to grab that peace and unwavering inspiration as we work the trenches and learn to move as one middle ground for others to move to and from the source upon. Singing a silent song of love and bliss, may the days of my life be a vibration of healing and hope for many to come. May I give thanks everyday for being given the privilege to serve this mission to bring the Ancient Knowledge to the hearts and hands of the waiting souls.
This year at the program in India, the middle students sat outside while the new students went to the front and the many older students needed to be close to do their seva. The new students received personal time with our teacher and the older students received special boons. The middle students got sent home early to balance the energy at the ashram. It was such a revealing experience about the many people who are in the middle for most of their lives.
When we were the new students, Swami ignored us and we weren’t pampered at all (at least it felt this way as a middle student.) This may have been a result of him seeing how dependent his first students were on his presence. But what actually is available for you of the middle group in this layered world??? You get to search for the deeper meaning of service, selflessness, and self worth. You may have the grace of going down and pulling yourself back up with the help of Baba and your own determination to stay inspired, devoted, and ready to become who you came to become. You get to see the value in the true friends who are willing to look after you and stand by you. You learn to see the gift in the hard knocks from the older students as they teach you the ropes of the real world A-Z. You get to feel what it is like to try to stay ready to help new students who are only fractions behind and often way ahead on the soul level.
It is hard to feel left out, invisible, betrayed. The middle feels more like you are a step that people walk on to get to and from the top to the bottom. So what is wrong with being a stepping stone? Once you see it for the beautiful service it is, you can take it more seriously as a way to help others while you too are pulled along as a part of the group. Without the middle step it would be hard to go up or down. Without the helpful available hardworking middle, not as much could be accomplished. Once again the larger lesson for me on this path is about how I can help, NOT what can I get.
Having grown up as the first child, I was used to the special attention and I learned to define myself by how much pride I could invoke in the family. I saw the frustration in my younger brothers as I was always four and seven years ahead in life. I also saw the love that we shared because I was kind and caring and willing to teach him everything I knew. Now I know what that felt like. I am the middle student in this Student Kingdom. I received the personal time from several of top students and then they moved on to other new students…as it has to be. I struggle in the shadow of the extremely talented teachers who have stepped into the world under Swami’s orders to “hit the globe”. I struggle to learn how to be a good servant of this work and to find my proper unifying place in the layers of Truth and Love.
In the midst of the struggle is the grace of this Divine Lineage pointing to the source of my challenges and the solutions for each. We learned at Guru Purnima that whatever our Divine Mother, creation in all its forms is presenting, Her finger is pointing to the true unchanging, silent dynamic source…Her beloved and our Father. We middle students need to grab that peace and unwavering inspiration as we work the trenches and learn to move as one middle ground for others to move to and from the source upon. Singing a silent song of love and bliss, may the days of my life be a vibration of healing and hope for many to come. May I give thanks everyday for being given the privilege to serve this mission to bring the Ancient Knowledge to the hearts and hands of the waiting souls.
posted by Maya | 2:28 PM
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